Monday, November 30, 2009

...seeking friendship

Now what seems like a lifetime ago, life was simple. I loved life and loved people and something I enjoyed most was the diversity in both. I had friends of all types and all walks of life. Granted, some were closer than others, deeper and truer, while others were passing and more superficial. But the point is, I enjoyed each and every friendship and the impact that it had on my experience no matter how temporary or enduring. And in retrospect, the one thing I took for granted was how easy it was to find and enjoy these friends...

Today. As the last decade literally BLEW by, I take mental inventory of my life and friendships and am astonished at the changes that have happened while I apparently wasn't paying attention. So what have I learned? Two life changes (marriage and children) totally change the friendship experience. When it was just me, I could be friends with anyone... and the only ones that could say how far that friendship would take us were said friend and myself.

before...

SWF seeking friendship. Male or female accepted. All religious and social affiliations appreciated, but like-minded a bonus. Location not a factor as I am willing to travel.

add a ring and some vows and suddenly I became....

MWF seeking friendship. Couples preferred. Will accept singles, but males makes it a bit awkward on road trips. Both parties in the couple must be of sound mind and equally enjoyable. (We all have the couple friends that have an obvious "better half" who is more pleasant to be around and the other you would admittedly prefer to take their time parking the car.)

add a couple of tiny people into the mix and BAM! I'm...


MWFWK seeking friendship. Singles welcome but must be able to tolerate little kids oozing all sorts of bodily fluids and asking an incredibly enormous amount of questions, sudden changes in plans, not finishing a conversation and overall chaos without warning. Couples preferred. Similar interests a bonus. Both parties must be compatible with the two of us. Kids appreciated, preferably the same ages and genders as ours, although babysitting age would be greatly valued. Similar or extremely compatible religious and social affiliations would be greatly appreciated as I'm just too tired to argue these issues right now. Living close by not a requirement, but a huge plus as we are working around 4 schedules not including yours. Like-minded parenting a must. Smokers, vegans (I'm not trying to pick out tiny bacon pieces from a salad for you), crazies, non-disciplinarians and swingers need not apply.

So to my friends (and you know who you are), whether you're single, married or married with children and whether you're new or have hung on through the chapters with me... thank you... truly... thank you. Oh and please don't leave me because the vetting process is way too difficult and I'm way too tired to try to make new friends.

9 comments:

scs said...

Proud to call you friend! And so thoroughly enjoyed and related to your post. Remember when it was so easy? Now I think- will this person say something I don't want my kid to repeat? And/or, how will I explain what will inevitably come out of this persons mouth to my kid? Ahh, how times change! And you know I wouldn't trade one tiny, infinitesimal bit of it! (not even the poo!)

jk said...

I am so glad to be considered a new friend in the chapters of your life. I do believe you have made me a better person for having known you!
Michelle

TAVA... said...

Hey SCS- friendship with you has always been really, really easy...mostly due to your sunny disposition... thanks for that. Our friendship will weather all of our milestones 'cause it's built on the Rock. :)

Michelle-although I think we've yet to have completed any one conversation, the bits and pieces I've gotten have just been awesome. Darn the PCS cycles...

Peter Dailey said...

Great piece of writing Tava Sue. Cleaver, witty, smart, and entertaining. Although I haven't seen you in much too long, I miss you everyday and love you like a sister. -Peter

TAVA... said...

Peter- you're one of the friends that has hung on through the chapters... miss you too!

Amy said...

Genius post! hilarious and ooooohhhhh so true!

TAVA... said...

Amy-having met you shortly after I turned 17, I can safely say that you are one of the people who has impacted my life the most... you have no idea the "Amy-isms" that have carried me through the goods and the bads of life... so thank you. :)

katie said...

alas...the requirements have certainly changed and im thrilled i made the cut for our similar seasons. i could add a few more requirements to the ad...must have an ability to spell at a moments notice and the discernment to know when to keep said little people oblivious to certain conversations. more to follow...xoxo, kk

Jay Musial said...

Thanks for the words I wish I could assemble myself. I'm the luckiest of all as I get to enjoy your friendship everyday. I've watched you enrich so many. Your friendship is a true blessing experienced by many and a select few. The cut is hard to make these days but if you do make it, it's amazing.

Katie, I take offense to the spelling comment. Be careful, you may lose the "spouse approval" and you're out of here baby. Nice hat by the way.